Monday, July 03, 2006

When unicorns attack

bad unicornI learned three things today:
  1. People who live with unicorns can be taken by surprise when they attack.
  2. The Alle-Kiski Medical Center Emergency Room is equipped and staffed to handle such injuries.
  3. Unicorns that attack should not be surprised if there is retaliation from the victim.
"I saw the unicorn moving, but I never expected it to attack me," said the member of Central Presbyterian Church as I drove her to the emergency room. She had been moving books from a bookshelf when a bronze unicorn toppled off the shelf and punctured her lower leg. She was so angry, she told me, that "I left the unicorn right there on the floor until just before you got here."

At the Emergency Room for the Alle-Kiski Medical Center in Natrona Heights the staff were surprised when they were told that they were treating a victim of a unicorn attack. But they effectively put their training and skills to work, cleaning out the wound, putting in eight stitches to close it up, and leaving the victim with follow-up instructions for caring for the wound..
AKMC banner for the Readers' Choice Best Hospital
As I watched them work, I thought to myself that these people could probably treat people attacked by any kind of fantasy creature. If you've been scorched by Godzilla's fire breath, squashed by King Kong, or mauled by a werewolf, go to the Alle-Kiski Medical Center in Natrona Heights. They'll know what to do.

As she was being discharged from her brief stay in the emergency room, the victim said. "I'm not sure what I should do with that nasty unicorn."

"That's what ebay is for," was the suggestion from one of the staff.

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Anonymous said...

I recently saw a video where Unicorns did attack. The link:

I do want to warn you, this is not for the weak minded or the weak of stomach. But I think it can be enjoyed by most. After seeing it I had considered contacting the show 'When Animals Attack", but I didn't think they would belive it.
I'm a believer!


Connie Hart said...

That video was so cute and funny. My youngest son Brandon loved it. He was laughing the whole time. That is very creative that is for sure.