Today's Valley News Dispatch has a story (text here, minus the wonderful picture in the print edition which was on sale for 50 cents at the news stand) by Liz Hayes about an alligator found in the Allegheny River in Tarentum on Monday evening; when it was caught it was only blocks away from Central Park. The virtual park bench is still safe. But I'd look underneath before sitting down if I were you. I did.
Before you start worrying about the prevalence of alligators in Tarentum, please note that this alligator had escaped from its home a mile away in Brackenridge. It wasn't a Tarentum alligator. It was a Brackenridge alligator. What a relief.
After the local Crocodile Hunter, Nicki Hilliard, captured the alligator, the Tarentum police took it into custody. According to the newspaper, "Sgt. Jim Newcomer said he didn't believe it was the first alligator to inhabit the department's holding cells." He didn't believe it was the first? I hope that was a typo or that Sgt. Newcomer misspoke. Moral of the story: Don't get into trouble with the police in Tarentum. There's no telling who - or what - will share the holding cell with you.
If you hear any rumors that the alligator was after some of the ham loaf at Central Presbyterian Church, they have no basis in fact. The next ham loaf dinner at Central Presbyterian Church will not be until October 15. And we'll check under the tables for alligators before opening our doors.
File under: wierd, Tarentum, ham loaf, blatant_promotion_of_fundraiser